The world was created 4.5 billion years ago. That is a long time for such a small planet as ours. Yet today here we are, bitching over economy, watching as our time slips by. We are slowly drifting away and we will be unable to save ourselves. In the upcoming 3billion years our planet will be doomed as we collide with the Andromeda galaxy. Our planet will be completely destroyed. Even further from there our nice sun will turn into a red giant and then explode into a white dwarf. Sometimes I ask myself how this all happen and why. Why do planets collide and stars explode, why do black holes suck up a lot of galaxies. Just why does this all happen? Are we just a pre-programmed cell in a huge body that will eventually die? Or is it just one of those things that is supposed to happen? Why don't we think things through before we act. Our stupidity will show up eventually even when we didn't know it before. Everything is doomed to fail in the end. If we know that then why didn’t we end it all? End it all right here, right now. We don't because we think we have a destiny but as you can see yourself dying when you are about 89 years old, you'll conclude that there are no destinies. We just think there are destinies.
If everything is learned best through pain then most of us are geniuses right now right? Everything in the world is linked through yin and yang, hate-love, cold-warm, hard-soft, one can't exist without the other. Yet most of our heart contains darkness and just a small proportion contains love. Does that mean that is with everything else too? More cold than hot, more yin than yang? Does that mean we are so unbalanced we don't know it ourselves? And if this world is so fragile and unbalanced then how is it possible for most of us to exist? If it was really so fragile, wouldn't have everything already collapsed by now? Yet does it mean it is stronger than I think it is?
If the planet is doomed (which it is in the end) and you look into the sky and you only see black and a dying sun? What would you do if you saw that and you knew today was your last on earth because the oxygen is slipping away in a fast rate. What would you do? Sit and think over your pesky life with fake goals and ideals? Run and scream 'I'm going to die'. Think "if I did this instead of that I would have been happier". Wha-what would you do? I know for sure what I would do. I would sit on a beach and just relax and let death overtake me as I slowly drift into the heaven that may or may not exist. That is what I would do.
What is there after death exactly? I talked a lot about this with religious and non-religious people and the most said that they think there would just be darkness and nothing else because that would not be possible. I asked them why it wouldn't be possible and they told me it is because if there was a heaven would we be able to die there to and then where do we go? To heavens heaven? And after that? Heavens heaven of heaven? We can't live forever, we can't here nor in heaven. Everything will die once we set foot in it.
Mostly when I am thinking and talking like this everyone assumes I am either ranting or going crazy and that I need to go and see a doctor who can help me with these complicated problems. But I don't see them as problems. I see these thoughts as part of my daily life and that is what our fragile world is built upon. Acceptance and thoughts. Someone thought up the idea of calling a table a table or a shoe a shoe and we accepted it like that and now we don't know any better. It will sound crazy if I started calling a chair, a toilet. "Hey, would you like a toilet?". See? Even you think it will be crazy. It is the same with these thoughts I have. It will be crazy if they suddenly disappeared and I will be a normal teenage boy.
What is normal anyway? What I think by normal is that someone made a rule with: that is normal and that is not and we ACCEPTED it. But in reality I think everything is fairly normal because it was supposed to be like that. If you murder someone and you have a valid reason for it I don't even think it should be punishable. If you didn't set these rules up to begin with, then we wouldn't have to follow them up right now and we probably wouldn't even think murder is bad. We would have accepted it like we do with everything.
They say light comes at the end of the road. But my world has been in darkness for so long now I hardly believe the light even exists right now. If it does then why won't it come for me and get me out of my daily misery? I believe death is the only option to get to the light nowadays. I would embrace death if it finally came for me. Why would I be afraid to die? That is just my cycle coming to an end and I would have no regret dying. If i was really dead right now and the funeral was coming. I wouldn't want them to cry and say testimonies because they should have done that in the period of time which I was living in. People don't do that because they are afraid they will hurt you. Truth is, I am born with pain, I was always hurt but O tried to make the best of it anyway because I knew I wasn't going to last long.
I can't understand a lot of things in the world and I feel like I am stupid but the people around say I am not. Do they say that because they love me, or do they say it because they really think I am smart? Honestly, I hope it is the second because I am really going crazy.
Everything I know today has been taught through pain. Some wonder how I ever could've hurt this much but the truth is, I always kept it in, I never said a damn thing because I didn't want to look weak. Now there is only one purpose for me in life, to help those in need for advice. If you need it, just ask.
Waro
If everything is learned best through pain then most of us are geniuses right now right? Everything in the world is linked through yin and yang, hate-love, cold-warm, hard-soft, one can't exist without the other. Yet most of our heart contains darkness and just a small proportion contains love. Does that mean that is with everything else too? More cold than hot, more yin than yang? Does that mean we are so unbalanced we don't know it ourselves? And if this world is so fragile and unbalanced then how is it possible for most of us to exist? If it was really so fragile, wouldn't have everything already collapsed by now? Yet does it mean it is stronger than I think it is?
If the planet is doomed (which it is in the end) and you look into the sky and you only see black and a dying sun? What would you do if you saw that and you knew today was your last on earth because the oxygen is slipping away in a fast rate. What would you do? Sit and think over your pesky life with fake goals and ideals? Run and scream 'I'm going to die'. Think "if I did this instead of that I would have been happier". Wha-what would you do? I know for sure what I would do. I would sit on a beach and just relax and let death overtake me as I slowly drift into the heaven that may or may not exist. That is what I would do.
What is there after death exactly? I talked a lot about this with religious and non-religious people and the most said that they think there would just be darkness and nothing else because that would not be possible. I asked them why it wouldn't be possible and they told me it is because if there was a heaven would we be able to die there to and then where do we go? To heavens heaven? And after that? Heavens heaven of heaven? We can't live forever, we can't here nor in heaven. Everything will die once we set foot in it.
Mostly when I am thinking and talking like this everyone assumes I am either ranting or going crazy and that I need to go and see a doctor who can help me with these complicated problems. But I don't see them as problems. I see these thoughts as part of my daily life and that is what our fragile world is built upon. Acceptance and thoughts. Someone thought up the idea of calling a table a table or a shoe a shoe and we accepted it like that and now we don't know any better. It will sound crazy if I started calling a chair, a toilet. "Hey, would you like a toilet?". See? Even you think it will be crazy. It is the same with these thoughts I have. It will be crazy if they suddenly disappeared and I will be a normal teenage boy.
What is normal anyway? What I think by normal is that someone made a rule with: that is normal and that is not and we ACCEPTED it. But in reality I think everything is fairly normal because it was supposed to be like that. If you murder someone and you have a valid reason for it I don't even think it should be punishable. If you didn't set these rules up to begin with, then we wouldn't have to follow them up right now and we probably wouldn't even think murder is bad. We would have accepted it like we do with everything.
They say light comes at the end of the road. But my world has been in darkness for so long now I hardly believe the light even exists right now. If it does then why won't it come for me and get me out of my daily misery? I believe death is the only option to get to the light nowadays. I would embrace death if it finally came for me. Why would I be afraid to die? That is just my cycle coming to an end and I would have no regret dying. If i was really dead right now and the funeral was coming. I wouldn't want them to cry and say testimonies because they should have done that in the period of time which I was living in. People don't do that because they are afraid they will hurt you. Truth is, I am born with pain, I was always hurt but O tried to make the best of it anyway because I knew I wasn't going to last long.
I can't understand a lot of things in the world and I feel like I am stupid but the people around say I am not. Do they say that because they love me, or do they say it because they really think I am smart? Honestly, I hope it is the second because I am really going crazy.
Everything I know today has been taught through pain. Some wonder how I ever could've hurt this much but the truth is, I always kept it in, I never said a damn thing because I didn't want to look weak. Now there is only one purpose for me in life, to help those in need for advice. If you need it, just ask.
Waro
